Ireland Day 2
I’m sipping on a cup of tea in my hotel room in Lisdoonvarna waiting for my friend/producer Anne to pick me up for my first night at the match-making festival. I met with Willie Daily, the head match maker, today on his huge farm. He already had a few girls from the US waiting in his house for us to meet. (“Us” as in me and this other guy I just met named Dan who is also in the documentary) It was really fun because he has horseback single tours and these ladies when along for the ride. They were all in acting schools in the States so you can bet that they had no problem wanting to be in front of the camera. I didn’t say a word to any of them because I was too busy trying to not fall off my beautiful horse. It was actually a very smooth ride, I just didn’t want to start getting all cocky and have my horse throw me off and poop on me. The view was unbelievable as we galloped for a couple miles over the lushest green pastures in the world with the Atlantic Ocean just a mile or so in front of us. My horse pooped three times and I pooted on her about seven times. I tried not to but every now and then she would start to run and it made me nervous and all the bouncing made me poot. It was like a mild version of “fight or flight” when an animal releases all of his waste in extreme nervous situations. Luckily I didn’t pee or poop myself. I thought I was going to have explosive diarrhea there after she first took off on me. On tape I think the horse was only going eight mph but it definitely felt like I was going about fifty.
The only injuries I received were a sore butt and my arm and hand and arm brushed up against a nettle plant. I don’t know if you’ve ever touched a nettle plant but it hurts like hell. It’s covered in a million little needle-like hairs that stick into you like an invisible porcupine and it burns like the dickens. My horse decided to dive head first into a big bush of the stuff and took my hand with her for he ride. I really couldn’t believe she actually ATE the stuff. I’m not saying she’s stupid but that had to hurt her tongue and lips. She had pretty lips too!
We’ll I’m off to the town to hit the festivities. Talk to you about it when I get home!
… Wow! What a downer! I just got back from the most crowded bars I’ve ever been in in my life! Thanks the Lord you can’t smoke in bars over here anymore! We went to meet Willie at the Match Maker Bar to meet the girls he wanted to set us up with and fortunately he didn’t have a match. I say this all because of whom he set Dan up with. It was absolutely hilarious to watch Willie take Dan’s hand and lead him to a woman in her fifties that easily could’ve been his mother. (Dan’s no more than 34) She was very sweet, don’t get me wrong, I just can’t wait to see who he tries to set me up with in the next day or two. I just stood in the corner praying that Willie forgot about me but he reassured me that my match wasn’t present yet. I should’ve just talked to those NORMAL girls on the horse ride! Damnit! At least I know that they we’re CLOSE to my age. I mean he doesn’t care at all about an age difference. He told Dan and I that the girls could be up to sixty-five years old. I guess you can never have too many sixty-five year old Irish lady friends- I should be positive here.
We ended up going back to Doolin and far far away from the match making festival and went to McSomething-Something’s Pub (There are five pubs that all start with “Mc” and I can never remember which is
which.) and had a great time hanging out and listening to a table of old men playing fiddles until the bar closed. That to me is the best thing about this trip- not the possibilities of true love with someone twice my age but just being with good people and soaking up the energy and atmosphere out here. I love it so much. The music is unbelievable and everyday feels like Christmas with the sights, smells, and sounds. My red hair goes nicely out here too.
I better go now. I actually need to soak my hand again in water to get this nettle to stop itching. It kept me up all night.
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